Disturbing/Adorable: Basset Hounds Running
They’re dopey, droopy, lovable, and probably doing narcotics behind your back. They’re basset hounds! And, as it turns out, they look like complete assholes when they’re in motion. Here, to cure any lingering case of the Mondays you might have, are some funny pictures of basset hounds running around like fools. Those are my personal [...]
#FailFriday: Applesauce Balls
Here’s a humiliating #FailFriday story from those deviants at The Velvet Beard. I was told it was ecstasy. I was also told that I would need to take nine of them. It was the Fourth of July. I was fourteen. I had started smoking cigarettes, marijuana, and drinking coffee just a couple months [...]
Abandoned Masterpiece: Weird Gnome Animation
This was a homework assignment. And not mine. Chicago-based Artist Christine Even was going to animate a dream she’d had for a class, something like New Media Studies. I had been spending all of my free-time chain smoking and teaching myself Adobe Flash, so I assured her it would be as easy as pie. [...]
Videos: Bangin’ on Wax with Bloods & Crips
Life ain’t easy for the Bloods & Crips, always bangin’ on each other in the hoods of LA. But the notorious enemies did manage to call a ceasefire long enough to trade some rhymes and cut a record. The result was the opus “Bangin’ on wax” (loose translation: killing it on record”) which was released [...]
Disturbing: Muppets with People Eyes
I wish I had never come across this, and you will too: One of the more disturbing Tumblrs I’ve ever found- Muppets with People Eyes. Similar to the Dogs Eating in a Restaurant video we featured recently, but somehow lacking the levity, this blog takes photos of Muppets and photoshops human eyes onto them. Why? Because, [...]
How to Hug a Girl
“Some hugs are like a teddy bear, others are like a fortress. Sometimes they are both. Keep that in mind.” A recent, hazy, late-night digital-junk binge led me to the door of a tutorial for teaching young boys how to hug a girl, courtesy of wikiHow. The first couple sentences were enough to draw me [...]
#FailFriday: “swimkids”
It’s the best ten-minute EP you will ever listen to, let alone download for free. This masterpiece is best listened to sitting down, in one continuous ten-minute stretch. It’s the rare chance to see true genius at work, and you’d be a fool to pass it up.
Short Story: “Tragic Magic at Willy J” by Tim Weaver
Tragic Magic at Willy J By Tim Weaver Maria’s ass was so perfect that it surrounded her in a transparent, golden force field. Everybody at William Jefferson Clinton High wanted a piece of her. She strolled down the long, marble gray hallways of the school swinging what her mama gave her like it was a [...]
CHARLIE SHEEN FOR PRESIDENT (UPDATED)
Charlie Sheen is just having a good time.
Getting hernias from laughing too hard, maybe the occasional uncontrollable nosebleed.
He’s fine. Let’s get off his case.
Let’s elect him President.