Here’s a humiliating #FailFriday story from those deviants at The Velvet Beard. I was told it was ecstasy. I was also told that I would need to take nine of them. It was the Fourth of July. I was fourteen. I had started smoking cigarettes, marijuana, and drinking coffee just a couple months [...]
This was a homework assignment. And not mine. Chicago-based Artist Christine Even was going to animate a dream she’d had for a class, something like New Media Studies. I had been spending all of my free-time chain smoking and teaching myself Adobe Flash, so I assured her it would be as easy as pie. [...]
Life ain’t easy for the Bloods & Crips, always bangin’ on each other in the hoods of LA. But the notorious enemies did manage to call a ceasefire long enough to trade some rhymes and cut a record. The result was the opus “Bangin’ on wax” (loose translation: killing it on record”) which was released [...]
“Some hugs are like a teddy bear, others are like a fortress. Sometimes they are both. Keep that in mind.” A recent, hazy, late-night digital-junk binge led me to the door of a tutorial for teaching young boys how to hug a girl, courtesy of wikiHow. The first couple sentences were enough to draw me [...]
It’s the best ten-minute EP you will ever listen to, let alone download for free. This masterpiece is best listened to sitting down, in one continuous ten-minute stretch. It’s the rare chance to see true genius at work, and you’d be a fool to pass it up.
Tragic Magic at Willy J By Tim Weaver Maria’s ass was so perfect that it surrounded her in a transparent, golden force field. Everybody at William Jefferson Clinton High wanted a piece of her. She strolled down the long, marble gray hallways of the school swinging what her mama gave her like it was a [...]
Charlie Sheen is just having a good time.
Getting hernias from laughing too hard, maybe the occasional uncontrollable nosebleed.
He’s fine. Let’s get off his case.
Let’s elect him President.