Independence Day: Transformers and Poetry
Dear Lord time goes by fast. July 4th is just about here. Some of us have plans. Some of us have no plans. Some of us will be with family or giving thanks for our country, some of us will be doing no such thing.
But there’s something we all have in common: We are all free, and we all like big robots and explosions.
I haven’t seen Transformers: Dark of the Moon yet. But I’m going to. Have I gotten amnesia? Have I forgotten the wasted hours and dollars I spent seeing the first two Transformers?
Yes, maybe I have. Because from the moment I saw the trailer for this flick, I just knew I had to see it. Word on the street is it’s the best of the bunch. Normally, I would give up on a team of “creative” people after they tried twice to make a good movie (the same movie). Maybe it’s because they spent so much darn money on them. Maybe it’s because they shot it in 3D–and the 3D action is being called far and away the best since Avatar. Maybe it’s the girl who’s replacing Megan Fox. But I’ll give Michael Bay his third and final chance to make a Transformers movie that doesn’t have me leading the movie theater with a wince or a headache.
/Film has reported on the great divide between critics and audience members when it comes to this latest movie, which opened on Tuesday in select 3D locations. I read the critics a lot. I don’t always agree with them, but we usually see eye to eye more than me and middle America do. (Speaking of critics, the other “big” movie opening this weekend is the Tom Hanks directed Larry Crowne, which he stars in with Miss Julia Roberts. I’ve read two reviews- LA Times savagely trashed the film, to the point where I knew I had to get a second opinion. Vulture had me covered. David Edelstein says of the “gentle” Larry Crowne, “I found it easy to understand why its trailer is so, so lame—the tagline might as well be ‘Come Smile Awhile.’” Tell your parents to let me know how it is).
But I digress. My point is, while I’m generally on the sides of critics (as opposed to the mass movie going public, or the bureaucratic, elitist, insider sludge of the Academy) I don’t really give a damn what the critics say about Transformers 3 (even the oft-reliable Peter Travers gave Tranformers 3 zero stars, claiming, “Watching it makes you die a little inside.” I hope that shows up on the Blu-ray sleeve). I’m sure the pain of a film like the second Transformers making soooo much money despite their critical warnings is still fresh in the minds of many film critics. I can understand their bitterness. But, while I might have forgotten the utter disappointment and hysterical unhappiness the first two Transformer films evoked in me, I have not forgotten why I saw those films in the first place.
I wanted a good action movie.
CONTINUE READING
Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol Teaser Trailer
Don’t tell me this doesn’t look good. Brad Bird directs Tom Cruise and Jeremy Renner in December’s Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol.
This is the first film I’ve seen branded as a “Tom Cruise / Bad Robot Production.” This opposed to a Cruise/Wagner Production (Wagner being Cruise’s ex-wife and [former?] producing partner Paula Wagner).
The entire IMF has been disavowed. Only Tom Cruise, the guy who made Lost, and a Pixar director can get to the bottom of it.
M:I 4, people. Lick. It. Up.
35mm: Thor Surprises, Almost Amazes
I don’t know why I felt so obligated to see Thor. The marketing for the film was pretty dull. But I often find myself getting inextricably caught up in fan-boy hype. And there was plenty of fanboy hype surrounding Thor. It is after all, the third film from Marvel Studios, and a major moment as we march towards Joss Whedon’s sure-to-be-an-event 3D spectacular The Avengers in 2012.
I’ve been getting pretty geeky about Marvel lately, despite my comic book ignorance. I’m even excited for Shane Black having a go at the Iron Man franchise (any departure from Iron Man 2 is welcome). Mark Ruffalo replacing Edward Norton as the Hulk? Yep. Excited about that too. I love continuity, but, damn it, I love Ruffalo more.
Yet Captain America–and even moreso, Thor–completely failed to excite me. I knew I would see them, probably opening day, and probably enjoy them. But I know nothing of the characters and didn’t really cared much. It was more a sense of obligation.
Good thing I felt obligated to see Thor, too. It sets the bar for the Summer film season. It’s a highly enjoyable, surprisingly funny, fantastical romp through the nine realms (or whatever).
Three Ridiculous Summer Trailers
New trailers for Harry Potter, Transformers, and X-Men are here.
The last in an 8-part child-wizard epic, the (hopefully) final installment in a transforming-robot trilogy, and the reboot of a classic comic book franchise. You know it’s almost summer when this many big trailers are dropping at once.
Click on the article to watch all the new trailers!
35mm: Four Nights of Scream
When a character asks, “How much more meta can you get?” as they do in Scream 4, they’ve answered their own question. While the Scream movies have always thrived on their self-awareness, the question is whether audiences can stomach more of the horror-movie-within-a-horror-movie-mimicking-a-horror-movie-within-a-horror-movie shtick.
“I’m sick of this post-modern meta shit,” one character declares. But we know they don’t mean it.
But are we sick of it? Does it still work? All important questions. But the real question, the one at the center of today’s Feature Column, is: Can I stomach Four Nights of Scream?
35mm: Nicholas Cage Arrested For Time Travel
Is the world coming to an end? When Nicholas Cage is screaming rhetorically in your face, daring you to arrest him, you don’t do it. You go home and say a prayer of thanks for being allowed to come so close to Nicholas Cage.
But the New Orleans police were seemingly unintimidated by the fact that Nicholas cage has, in his lifetime, owned multiple castles, a pet octopus, and a fleet of Rolls Royces. They were utterly unafraid of this strange, lanky man whose filmography reads like the dazed lovechild of Philip Seymore Hoffman and Eugene Levy. And so, New Orleans finest handcuffed and took the Cage-man into custody early Saturday morning.
Luckily, old Dog the Bounty Hunter was there to bail him out…
Trailer: Super 8
Super 8, set for a June 11th release, is the first film where Abram’s gets sole writing and directing credit. The script was reportedly based on a story developed by Abrams and Spielberg.
CHARLIE SHEEN FOR PRESIDENT (UPDATED)
Charlie Sheen is just having a good time.
Getting hernias from laughing too hard, maybe the occasional uncontrollable nosebleed.
He’s fine. Let’s get off his case.
Let’s elect him President.
Oscar Winners and Highlights (There Weren’t Many)
Could the Academy Awards be any less relevant? The children’s choir singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” at the end of tonight’s ceremony would argue that no, they could not. That, and the Academy’s utter refusal to celebrate a film that resonates with A) the movie-going population, B) people under the age of 50, or C) [...]