The Best/Worst Analogies of High School Students
High School students are notoriously stupid. They’re also lazy whiners with dependably poor hygiene. But sometimes those little bastards spit out a piece or two of pure gold.
Below, you’ll find a link to a list of the best/worst analogies written by high school students. The analogies were reportedly sent in to the Washington Post by high school teachers.
Here are a few of my favorites:
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
The sardines were packed as tight as the coach section of a 747.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
Seriously, what happened to those hooks latches on screen doors? I can’t remember the last time I saw one.
And yes, there’s more. Read the 56 worst/best analogies of high school students, courtesy of the Lost Eyeball.