Pop Rocks: Royal Wedding Drama
If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you haven’t been fully abreast of the Royal Wedding drama of Prince William and Kate Middleton. You also might not know about it because there is, ostensibly, no royal wedding drama. Here are the things bored people like myself are talking about:
- Obama and former PMs Tony Blair and Gordon Brown were left off the wedding guest list. Gasp!
- William and Kate will not kiss after the ceremony, according to custom. The crowd at Westminster Abbey is much too prude for that.
- The seating arrangement for the wedding feast has been just hell, because the Duke of Such&Such refuses to be seated next to the Duchess of Whateverberry
- Kate Middleton wants to wear her hair down at the ceremony, to the horror of her new in-laws. “Royal Brides have historically kept their hair neatly bound”, claims Yahoo!’s Royal Wedding Blog
Generational differences between the Queen Mother and Prince William have been an ongoing source of the non-existent drama leading up to the event. William’s announcement of their engagement by Twitter and insistence on traveling to the church by car, instead of the traditional glass, horse-drawn coach riled the old Queen.
The Queen Mother was also disappointed by the couple’s refusal to be carried through the streets of London on a gold-gilded, diamond-encrusted litter, carried on the backs of Hackney peasants. But I guess she’ll just have to deal.
Familial and media pressures abound for this couple, who seems to remain cool and collected despite the public scrutiny.
Speculation about the wedding has turned into a money-making venture for some: Online betting company William Hill expects 1.6 million in bets to be placed on questions such as whether Prince Harry will be sober enough to speak at the reception and whether Kate’s father will shed tears as his princess is married off. Someone should really be placing a bet on whether or not the Queen Mother will make life a living hell for the rest of the couple’s lives…then again we’d all win that jackpot.
Astrology.com confirms William and Kate are under major pressure with Pluto and Uranus hitting the composite Mars opposite Sun Mercury in their star charts.
Good luck kids!
You can join the 1 billion viewers expected to watch the Royal Wedding on April 29th, 11am GMT. The Royal Youtube Channel will broadcast the event live, which airs 6:00am EST. If that’s too early for you, you’ll have no trouble finding media coverage on CBS, ABC and NBC before and after the wedding.