My sister is an ultra-religious fundamentalist Christian.  She and her husband believe that God himself decided on them having 8 children.  I guess I can handle that, but as I get older I am less and less able to find any real satisfaction in keeping a friendship with her.  I don’t want to just cut things off completely, but when we’re together the whole Jesus thing is ALWAYS there, hanging over us.  She insists that she won’t try to convert me anymore, which always seemed to be the problem.  I’ve realized lately, however, that it’s me who needs to get over her ever-present religion.  It annoys the hell out of me. I am an atheist, but I don’t want to be the kind of arrogant atheist who goes around criticizing everything in sight.  I would like to have genuine respect for her religious beliefs, but the truth is that I just don’t.  How can I stop this trend of liking religious people less and less?

Atheist Rising

Dear Rising,

I commend you for consulting a priestess for your atheist-related needs. It shows a flexibility of thought that will be useful in solving your conundrum.

It is most aggravating to have diverging spiritual beliefs with loved ones, regardless of their persuasion. In fact, few things roil us more than differing spiritual beliefs. Except, perhaps, tea-party candidates and philandering politicians. What is important to remember is that your sister is not representing all Christians with her lifestyle – she is representing a small minority of extreme faith that is a mere tributary of the mainstream. So really, she represents no one but herself in her personal religious beliefs.

But if there is one thing that theists and non-theists can agree upon – let it be forgiveness of our foibles. We are flawed in our self-serving humanity, doing the best we can to get into heaven. For some of us, heaven is on earth – a good home, a loving family, prosperity and natural beauty. For others, heaven is beyond this life. A bodhisattva levitating on a rainbow, encircled by virgin centaurs. And what’s wrong with that? Life is but a dream – some of us are living the dream, others are just dreaming.

Remember that this is what Jesus is to your sister – a bodhisattva and guru. Jesus is magic to her and her worship of him is taken to the extreme, but try and marvel at her devotion. Love is not rational, and thank goddess for that because even the most half-baked cretins need someone to love them and pull them out of the path of an oncoming semi. Therefore, let your love for her be irrational as well, knowing that your ties serve a greater purpose. And what greater purpose might that be? Why, the ties that bind – the children of course! When the little ones grow into their teen years they may desperately need an Auntie or Uncle who will help them to forge their own way through independent thought and action. If anything, the kids need your rational influence the most. Find a way to be a teacher to them in subtle ways, and let them know they can count on you. This will restore the karmic balance to your family’s universe.

When and if your sister tries to resurrect her conversion arguments, just calmly use her logic against her (“I’m no longer having conversations about this. You of all people know it is not our place to judge the ways of others”). Then use deep breaths, and lots of compassionate non-attachment. OHMMMMMMMM……

Dear Shae:
I was at a party recently when some wayward graduate students were discussing June 2011 as the “month of eclipses”. While their conversation was strictly astronomical, I have to wonder- does this mean something astrological as well? I have been playing with a lot of major life decisions lately (career, partnership, self improvement) and don’t want to make any rash judgements pulled by the sway of a moon. Help a Virgo out- should I look to the skies or stick to my earth elements?

Eclipsed Out

Dear Eclipsed,

For those who haven’t been following closely, there have been 2 eclipses in the month of June – a total lunar eclipse on June 15th and a partial solar one on June 1st. This is relatively rare and luckily, does not mark the end of ages.

Eclipses tend to be a sign of change, and since there were several of them, it’s no wonder that multiple aspects of change are coming to the surface for many of us. The lunar eclipse has an effect similar to a powerful full moon – the moon is more relationship-oriented, and it is a time when emotions often come to a head. The recent full moon was in Aquarius during the eclipse so issues related to idealism and the community at large could be magnified. The solar eclipse was in Gemini, so these changes would be centered on communication and perhaps career. This is a time for improving communication and listening skills with others, without being as focused on one “answer” or end product. Taking a new approach with your communication could yield positive long-term results – the effects of this eclipse could be felt for up to 6 months. Astrologer Lakota Rose states “I recommend she roll with the changes as gracefully as possible – since these are both eclipses in Air signs, it’s a great time for brainstorming and getting advice from others who are more experienced. But don’t get carried away – take action only when you have all the relevant information and are ready to move forward.”

Have a question for Shae Rue? Ask away!